4 words: hood of his car
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.