Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.