hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!