He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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