All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm sobbing to NWA
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
