did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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