apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just found puke in my bra..
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
