You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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