I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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