why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
