Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
