so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
