Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
