oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
