Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
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did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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