What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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