maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
