i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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