i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
