Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
