It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
