No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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