what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
