I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
