Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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