That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do vagina's smell?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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