Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize