hotel room ftw
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
