Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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