Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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