she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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