I'd wear matching sweaters with you
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
