...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My life is pants optional.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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