I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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