So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he was CRYING into my vagina
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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