Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
