Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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