Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I need a beard to bite.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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