my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
