how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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