I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
