That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Enjoy the penises
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
