I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
