You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
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you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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