There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
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she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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