I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
