As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
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Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
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You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Couch. On fire.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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