I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
