Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
