you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
