official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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