i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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