I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
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she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
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I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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