just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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