There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
