the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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