i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize