You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
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Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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