Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I wish I only lived at night.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
