when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I supernannyed him into submission
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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