I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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