Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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