Dual....:-)
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
