So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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